The Last Autumn Leaf


I sit alone, intertwined into music. When I’m here, I am one with the unknown, I am unharmed, and I am free- Free to imagine my desires and free to forget what happens in the real world- the world that I fail to see with none other than a blind eye.

*Silence* The sound-waves have slowly faded, and now I’m left to find other means to repress my suffering. I feel a sort of emptiness- a shallowness that leaves me wondering: “what is this disease that ails me?” When I’m in my imaginary realm I don’t feel so weak or powerless; there is no emptiness, yet there is that unmistakable feeling that lingers throughout the realm, filling my mind and reminding me that it’s not real, and as soon as I open my eyes I will be struck with the ever familiar depressing truths of reality. It seemed as though I had to choose between feeling hollow and useless in the real world, or full of angst in my own, imaginary, world.

I wondered which one was better for the longest time, until I began to think in an entirely different aspect. If I had the ability to look upon myself from the sky and observe my demeaning ways, I would certainly be disappointed at myself. I waste my time wallowing in the uncertainty of my fears- taking every setback and making the situations worse so I can have something to feel bad about and finding some reason to turn on my depressing songs and surge into that unknown realm yet again. There is definitely something wrong with that picture.

I made a very important realization: It’s time for me to wake up. This is no game- this is my life. To get anywhere I’m going to have to end my pessimism and go for my dreams without fear slowing me down. It takes a risk to move forward, but why be afraid? The fears of the unknown must be destroyed with the endless possibilities that I can create.

Why parachute out of an airplane when your mind senses the danger of falling to your death? It just proves that if I am too scared to fall, then I am doomed to remain motionless, to never move forward, and to never reach my full potential. I must stop at nothing to destroy my fear and shoot for the stars.

My eyes are finally beginning to focus. I now can see the beautiful colors of the autumn leaves drifting to the ground below. I see this spectacle as a mark of truth- Truth that things change, people fall, lives wither away, and beyond that a new age is being born with new lives, new dreams, and new hopes. Just do your best to be that last autumn leaf- the one that stands firm, believes, and overcomes all of the obstacles that lay in its path.

There will, of course, be a time when the leaf is old and withered, yet it only adds to the beauty of life. Even though your days are numbered at this point, don’t let that stop you from making a positive mark in time. When you can’t hold on anymore, let go and strike the ground with such a force that the whole world will be in awe of your existence.

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