The Key

buffalo2007_page_25_image_0001The Key

Jacob Vinson

I feel as though I am in a room of mirrors, yet instead of my own image being in them, I see several different people- several different aspects of my personality. I see the happy, the sad, the downright evil, and even the unrelenting kindness that I try to portray- as well as my many other moods and personality traits. I wonder how all of these attributes could possibly come together into one human being. Behind my grin, my frown, my smirk, and my warming smile, I see locked doors, all with compelling decorations adorning them. My smirk is the most noticeable mirror, taunting me to just give up and fail, fall into the darkness, and disappear.

I have the key to one of these doors- unfortunately, I don’t know where it fits, but I am certain it is for a door that will open and leave me facing in awe at the radiant beauty inside- a passageway that will finally set me in my place. When I pass through it, I’m sure that I will be totally and forever content with my life. When I do find this door, I will shun the bad things that my past has wrought, hold on to the good things and glide freely into the abysmal yet radiant gateway.

It sounds so nice, but realistically to accomplish a path to my correct setting, I must go through my life, morally face all of my emotions, and continue on my worldly journey for happiness. They say the journey creates the man, as does the man create the journey, and every journey begins and ends. It has its ups and downs, from seeing loved ones thrive, and others tragically perish. A journey also includes seeing nations fall and rise like the seasons, seeing the flowers blossom, grow and die, seeing the sun, feeling the rain, breathing the cold winter air, but never in vain– all in a seemingly magical and wondrous cycle.

The vanity of vanities would be to live one’s entire life without purpose, and I will fight to make sure that my own life does not end up this way. I have the key- that much is certain- and I pray that along the journey I may pick up clues that will eventually guide me to the end of my voyage- to a door in which my key fits.

As I said, every journey ends- some unfortunately end badly, but others end well. I have the power to control my destiny. I have the power to defeat the pessimism that is in my heart and soul- to destroy that demeaning smirk behind my hazel eyes and change it into a warm and calm smile- a smile that is content- for then I will no longer need a key- I will have found the place to which I belong, and in that moment, with relief, everything will be clear.

With life being so unpredictable, the two things that I would want most would to be able to live my life clearly and contently- to never have to worry if I’ve taken the wrong step, to never regret the choices that I have made, and to never doubt my next move. One day I will be free from the tangling grasp of anxiety and depression.

With the key held firmly to my heart, I press on.

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4 Responses

  1. I absoloutely love your blog – you have a real talent for writing. I have added you to my blogroll.

  2. “As I said, every journey ends- some unfortunately end badly, but others end well. I have the power to control my destiny. I have the power to defeat the pessimism that is in my heart and soul- to destroy that demeaning smirk behind my hazel eyes and change it into a warm and calm smile- a smile that is content- for then I will no longer need a key- I will have found the place to which I belong, and in that moment, with relief, everything will be clear.”

    Very well said, Jacob, very well said, and very true. It’s a great purpose and a great goal. Keep going forward with clear eyes, a clear mind and a clear heart, laugh a lot, and celebrate life.

    George Polley (aka “Toasty” Tostada

  3. I love your introspection.The hardest thing is putting thoughts and feelings into words, and you do it well.

  4. You are a terrific writer. Also really like the way you think. I like the way you talk about going forward with positive thoughts. I have found that being positive really makes life wonderful

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